Enjoying relatively

Ashwin Goyal

Jul 16, 2024

"Here's your raise," he said, beaming.

"Thanks! This is great! Wait a second... why is hers more?"

"You're happy with yours, right?"

"Ugh, no! If hers is more, I’m absolutely unhappy."

Owning Bircks

"They're Birks." "What's a Birks?" "Prepare your jaw because I'm about to swing, you blasphemous bitch."

Ordering babies

"Well, I want a baby. But not the whole pregnancy, sleepless nights, and toddler tantrums." "Exactly, let’s just skip to the part where they're all grown up and self-sufficient." "Perfect! Maybe they can even do our taxes. And cook dinner." "