Being original

"Honey," I exclaimed with a grin, "I think I’ve nailed it!"

I was on a mission to gift my unborn child a name so unique, so unheard of, that it would definitively become a part of, if not their whole, personality. No common names for me, no sir. I was going to be the Michelangelo of baby naming.

“Listen to this,” I continued, the name rolling off my tongue like a hidden treasure I’d just unearthed. My wife's eyes lit up, mirroring my excitement. “That’s brilliant!” she agreed.

Eager to confirm my brilliance, I turned to Google, my heart racing with anticipation. “Just a formality,” I thought, “to prove how original I am.” I hit enter and waited for the sweet, sweet validation. And then the screen flashed ten-fucking-million results.