Earning a paycheck
"What's the answer?" "Yes." "That's it?" "Yes." "No, bring me a probability matrix. I have to earn my paycheck."
Ashwin Goyal
Being overtired
"I can't sleep." "Why?" "I’m too tired."
Taking on more
"I'm exhausted," he sighed. His manager burst in, "Great news! We're expanding into a new market! Who wants to lead the project?" His hand shot up, "I'll do it!"
Experiencing self-doubt
What if I fail miserably? I don't think I can do this. Wait, an email. 'Your proposal is innovative and exactly what we need.' Wow. I've got this! I'm unstoppable, a total genius!
Thinking things through
"Please choose the color for the new company t-shirts," their boss said before leaving. "If we choose red, it could evoke passion," he said, banging the table. "But red means danger too," she countered. ... ... ... "What if aliens invade during the t-shirt launch?"
Prompt engineering
"Help. Email. Now," the human growled. "Email, a marvel of human ingenuity, allows communication across-" "JUST WRITE THE DAMN EMAIL!"
Negotiating big numbers
“We can offer $5 million," they said. "I need $10 million," he pleaded, tears welling up. "Every dollar is the difference between my children eating or starving." "$6 million is really all we can do," they responded. "$9 million, I'm
Boss waking up
"Hey, everyone! The boss is awake!" someone shouted across the office. "Not again," a voice muttered. "I thought we had another decade before this happened." "Apparently not," came a reply. "Better get our reports ready."
Showing bravado
"I can do better than that," he thought, eyeing the successful founder on stage. But the weekend was almost over, and it was time to organize his office shirts by color and fabric.
Being too humble
"You just won the Nobel Prize!" "Probably a mistake." "You cured cancer!" "A fluke." "You're levitating!" "Random quantum fluctuations." "You're too humble." "Others are humbler, I'm sure."
Offering recognition
"We'll give you a raise and more vacation," the boss said. "That's it?" "Better health benefits, too," the boss added. "That's it?" "A company car and expense account," the boss offered. "That'
Waking up on the wrong side
"We've lost sight of our goals and our unity," the boss announced after waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Eye rolls and sighs filled the room. "Oh, here we go again," someone muttered under their breath. "Another load of BS
Empathizing
"Walk a mile in my shoes," she said. "Then talk." "Try running a marathon in mine first, then talk," he retorted. "Climb a mountain in high heels. Then talk." "Swim across an ocean in cement shoes. Then talk."
Agreeing vehemently
"Alright, listen up everyone! I've got an incredible idea that will take our company to the top!" "Oh, hell yeah! What he said!" "Right... so, about the implementation timeline..." "We'll crush it!" "And what about the budget.
Taking a medical leave
Hey, Can't make it tomorrow. Head's exploding. Puked. It's everywhere. Pretty sure I'm dying, but I'll try not to haunt the office kitchen. Sorry for being a waste of space and salary. Send thoughts and prayers.
Preparing for an interview
He spent days glued to his computer, absorbing every fact about the company. He practiced answering questions until he could do it in his sleep. When the online interview finally arrived, he logged in, confident and ready to impress. Then, as the interviewer's face appeared on the screen,